Friday, September 4, 2009

Trapped in a fortress of financial rape, orbited by blood thirsty mosquitoes of greed, my wallet cries like a blond haired alter boy told to see Father McDiddler after church. I am Moses parting the Red Sea of open palms begging to be saved with the spare change of life.

My self esteem cowers in desperation, in fear of snake oil salesmen and the magicians of penile enlargement mind fucking me with slight of hand and ninja attack advertising. Banners litter the sky chasing Duct tape repaired aircraft as my windshield wipers file away handfuls of business cards and the door knob to my house greets me dressed in a suit of buy one get one fliers. My computer coughs the dying phlegm of viruses stealing my identity, as fictitious James Bond cure alls beg to be downloaded into a holocaust of digital malintent.

And you wonder why we are wading in a shit storm of dept. Credit cards sugar glaze a ham of greed allowing the false security of a reality television lifestyle. Keeping up with the Jonses has become a Knife Fight of social class approval where the lost blood of our rivals falls short of a credit score acceptance. The positive image of a healthy household is blinded by the shine off the hoods of over financed vehicles perched like trophies in our driveways. As dysfunction brings better ratings then answers and solutions my spare rattles helplessly fading in my pocket.

Long gone are the days of sensory deprivation, and here to stay are the days of oral on aural mass media over stimulation. It makes you wonder; how the fuck could you not have A.D.D.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

What goes up must come down....... by Jackshit

so now, I was supposed to leave around 6 am on friday to head out to New Mexico to the GROUND ZERO THROWDOWN, hosted by Atomic Trent. I have been lookin forward to this ride since my trusty knuck decided that it was only going to do half of the run last year and decided to chew up and shit out the rear bearings...... a few more miles, it would have seized and the asshole in charge of my will would have been typing this fuckin shit. On Monday, Mr. Keith Cole took time from his busy schedule along with brother Adam grabbed up some 3/4 round stock, lit up the torch and we fabricated us one bad ass sissy bar for the ride. If not for a sissy bar, the only things that I could carry would be a jacket, a pocket full of percocet and whatever the fuck I could hold in my teeth. If you have seen my teeth, you would realize that even carrying a tic tac might be difficult. This leaves only one open spot left on me to carry things and I am reserving that space for my next cell mate....... get it.... .mate....... Man I sure hope the next one can make pruno..... anyway...... back to the one off, built while on the bike, classic, sexy, timeless sissy bar. When you see it, you will appreciate the beauty of this fucker. So that's it, I now have a place to tie shit to. So now when I happen upon that drunken fat fuckin skank crack whore, toothless jizz bucket, I can throw a bungee around her and not have to worry about losing her before I get to the alleyway where I can put my tiny lil Irish fuck stick to good use. At this moment all I feel is joy and happiness. I am moving to another house soon and that is all worked out and now I am road trippin on a 62 year old Knuck, what more in life could a boy want?

Then reality hits.......... the house we are supposed to move into in 10 days is now looking like it is not going to happen. The fuckin Government owes me 35k and won't pay me. Just imagine if it was the other way around? I would be in fuckin debters prison, do they still do that? Now instead of riding choppers on a thousand mile kick ass ride, I am driving around the Valley of the Scum trying to find a place to plug in the laptop and look at bukake videos........... I don't know, this must be payback for something I have done in my earlier life. Perhaps it is the curse that my ex put on me when after pounding the shit out of her virgin asshole, I pulled out and wiped my cock on her white silk curtains......... who knows.......... I guess the Chickens are coming home to Roooooost.............. man it's a good thing that I am not a convicted violent felon or I just might snap........... oh wait, I am................ I think in the morning, instead of going to New Mexico, I am going to go down to the mortgage company's office................... WATCH YOUR EVENING NEWS!!!!! OH YEAH by the way, here are a few pics of the sissy bar...........

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Computers fucked

It'll be a few days before I post anything worth a fuck!